


Where I Stood

by Skylar0Grace



Series: sunnyskiessillies [2]
Category: Dark Angel
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-07
Updated: 2010-02-07
Packaged: 2017-12-04 17:53:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/713421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylar0Grace/pseuds/Skylar0Grace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“'Cos I don’t know who I am, who I am without you, all I know is that I should.”</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where I Stood

**Author's Note:**

> Challenge set by [](http://sunriserooftops.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://sunriserooftops.livejournal.com/) **sunriserooftops**   to use the song ‘Where I Stood’ by Missy Higgins.

* * *

 

_I don't know what I've done_  
 _Or if I like what I've begun_  
 _But something told me to run_  
 _And honey you know me it's all or none_

  
Max stared out over the sleeping city and tried to count the lights. Most were off but a few stood out like beacons against a very dark sea and she let out a deep breath, relishing in the feeling of the air escaping her lungs. It was fitting, she thought, that she would be standing here breathless when that had been the sole reason for her escaping TC to find solitude on the tower. With the very thought of him, her heart ached and she closed her eyes in pain.

 

_There were sounds in my head_  
 _Little voices whispering_  
 _That I should go and this should end_  
 _Oh and I found myself listening_

  
A comforting, familiar scent surrounded her and she mentally scolded herself for feeling him around her when he wasn’t. She wondered if she would ever be able to get his scent of her skin, the feel of his touch out of her memory. A sharp, cold breeze blew past her and she shivered as it raced past her barcode. A sound behind her had her turning, startled, and as she gazed up at the familiar hazel eyes, her heart leapt into her throat.

 

_'Cos I don’t know who I am, who I am without you_

_All I know is that I should_  
 _And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you_  
 _All I know is that I should_  
 _'Cos she will love you more than I could_  
 _She who dares to stand where I stood_

  
“Don’t do this Max,” he pleaded as he drew near to her.

Max turned her face away lest he see the tear trailing down her cheek and looked back over the wide expanse. She could feel her heart breaking in her chest but if she let herself fall, the damage would be far worse. He sat beside her tentatively and winced when she stiffened at his close presence.

“Max--”

“I made myself clear Alec, I just can’t do it.”

His breath hitched and she allowed herself five seconds before she spoke again – enough time to stop her voice from breaking.

“You are so much a part of me, Alec, and I don’t want to lose what we already have. We have a whole city to think about, not just ourselves. Lives depend on us.”

She stood and looked down at him sorrowfully. “I’m sorry.”

 

_See I thought love was black and white_  
 _That it was wrong or it was right_  
 _But you ain't leaving without a fight_  
 _And I think I am just as torn inside_

  
Alec stood more quickly than she thought he would and within a couple of seconds was standing between her and the exit. His brow was furrowed and she watched with horror as he reached forward and ran his thumb over the salty trail on her face.

“Don’t do this Max, please,” he begged.

She tried to walk around him and Alec stepped once more into her path.

“No, I can’t let you leave. I won’t give up on this, Max, I won’t.”

Max felt her heart breaking into even smaller pieces and a second tear fell down her face. She angrily lashed out; hitting him square in the jaw and it was only his transgenic speed which stopped him from going over the side. Her other fist rounded but he was more prepared and he clasped his fist in her own, pulling her body closer to his.

“Let it be someone else,” she whispered. Alec drew her face to within centimetres of his, keeping his gaze focused on her only. “Please. We don’t belong together and I don’t think I can break again; not again.”

She shook her head and looked down, closing her eyes in resignation as he loosened his grasp on her. He was giving up. A part of her was glad; he deserved a better life than anything he could have with her and although it would kill her to see him with someone else, it was preferable to them both hurting. But another part of her, the biggest part, was doing its best to keep the sobs at bay knowing he would give up so easily.

 

_And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call_

_You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all_  
 _But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you_  
 _This is what I have to do_

  
Alec took a step back but when he didn’t move any further, she looked up. His eyes held nothing but surprise and Max could feel her bottom lip quivering; she wouldn’t let the tears fall until he left though. He reached out a hand and, with more tenderness than she thought she deserved, he cupped her face with his hand.

“I have to do this,” she whispered in a last ditch attempt to encourage him to leave.

He shook his head sadly. “I will never leave you Maxie. Never. You are a part of me too, so much that I don’t know where you end and I begin. If you want to walk away, I will let you but I’ll never be complete without you and you won’t be without me. I know who I am with you, I understand myself, but I love you too much to keep you where you don’t want to be.”

He took a step back and Max missed the warmth he was providing her with as the cold wind whipped around her once more.

“I love you Maxie, never will love anyone else. So if you can walk away, then go. But if you can’t, if you can’t walk away from everything we could be, then stay. Everything else will sort itself out.”

 

_'Cos I don’t know who I am, who I am without you_

_All I know is that I should_  
 _And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you_  
 _All I know is that I should_  
 _'Cos she will love you more than I could_  
 _She who dares to stand where I stood_  
 _Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood_

  
Max looked back out to the sleeping city and closed her eyes. She could hear his steady breathing and found comfort in it; the knowledge that he was there. She opened her eyes and turned to look at the expectant look on his face. She could see that he was worried and when a tear fell down her face again, his breath escaped him. He moved to turn away and she panicked, racing forward and pressing her lips to his. His surprised lasted less than a millisecond before he pulled her closer. He breathed in her scent and Max melted into him smiling. If she was gonna drown, there was no better way to go.


End file.
